Friday Brain Dump - 2/29

Here are some random things running thru my head or across my computer screen that don't really fit neatly into categories. Or, they are just things I need to get out of my head so they don't cramp my style all weekend. Six of one, half-dozen of another....

• Mark Batterson's thoughts about meetings
• WIRED Magazine's list of Best Sidekicks - all I have to say is "Where's Al Borland?"
• I am really bummed that I have to miss Bible study next week for a mandatory seminar on anti-racism...I mean, come on...I'm not a racist, nor do I plan on becoming one...so why do I have to go to a two-night seminar on it?
• Dear Lord, I pray that someone wants to send me to this workshop. Amen.
• This magazine continues to make me think about how much overlap there is between the world and the church...especially when I read this.
• I am so confused about how the process works...mostly because getting my hopes up equals getting my family's hopes up...and if the process breaks down, then my family suffers. And I don't like that at all!
• I am excited about preaching on Maundy Thursday, but I wish I had some more time to prepare...I guess I'll talk about the Last Supper since time is running short.
• It's Leap Day...happy birthday to all you "Leap Babies" out there! Enjoy your special day - it only comes once every four years!

That's enough for today!

The Hard Work of Thinking Theologically

I went to LIFE Journal Bible Study this afternoon for the first time in quite a while and I was immediately reminded about why I need to make the time to be with that group of people every week.

I knew going in that I had not done any of the readings for this week, but they gladly accepted me back and welcomed my presence in the group. I was encouraged to write down my prayer requests for the week and have one of the other members of the group pick my card at random to pray for me this week. My comments about the texts were welcomed and my theological training as a pastor was tested during one portion of the discussion.

At one point the group began talking about Jesus' baptism in Mark 1 and the question of Jesus' need for baptism arose from the group. I must admit that this puzzles me too sometimes, but I didn't say much at the beginning of the discussion - I wanted to see where they would go with it. When the asked about the specific UMC teachings on baptism in general, I chimed in then.

As the discussion was winding down, someone made a comment that this passage can give rise to thoughts of not wanting to spend time thinking hard about the God and the Bible because there was not always resolution to the problem being addressed. I asked, "If we did fully understand, what would that say about God?"

That question has been rolling around in my head for a while and I wanted to see what you think about it...

If we did fully understand, what would that say about God?

Extra Quotable for today: "Holiness is giving God your full attention." -Sherry Trojanowski (I'm so proud of my admin!)

Stewardship is a "God Thing"

I recently finished reading Andy Stanley's book, Fields of Gold in preparation for the capital campaign that Trietsch is about to embark upon. I wanted to share some of my thoughts about the book here and see what your thoughts about financial stewardship might be.

Throughout the book, Andy uses the "harvest" metaphor to help people imagine the possibilities surrounding generous giving. I found this incredibly helpful in picturing how a small amount of seed (read: money) can turn into a huge harvest (read: blessing from God) when we are faithful to put that seed out into the ground and let God take care of it.

Andy dealt with the fears that many people have associated with giving and highlighted that many of those fears are irrational. How often are we swayed into irrationality because of our fears? How often are our fears themselves irrational?

The Four P's of Giving:

• Priority - give to God first when income shows up in your household; this avoids giving God the "leftovers" when you finish paying bills
• Percentage - pick one (10% is a good starting point) and keep that target in mind
• Progressive - adjust your giving higher throughout your lifetime as an exercise of faith
• Prompted - "random" giving in response to unique needs; these are not part of your regular planned giving

Fields of Gold largely deals in theory with points of application, but made tons of sense and jived with what other programs/authors have said and written.

The lack of "plan specificity" makes this book applicable across many situation (capital campaign, yearly stewardship, small group learning) and focuses on our response to God's involvement in our finances.

HD DVDs are History

Not that I own an HDTV or anything, but I thought that this news was interesting. I guess HD DVDs are this generations Betamax! I think I'll go do some research on Blu-Ray.

Grace&Peace

Leadership Journal - Winter 2008

I haven't finished reading the latest issue of Leadership Journal, but I have pulled out some interesting quotes for your consideration. Take a read and let me know what you think.

Tim Keel (scroll down to Tim's picture), pastor of Jacob's Well in Kansas City, MO
"Has our articulation, and more importantly, or embodiment of the gospel invited people to be come a part of an alternative reality, a community of salvation for this world and the world that is to come?" (21)

"I began to realize that every articulation of the gospel I had heard focused exclusively on Jesus Christ and his role as redeemer. It is obviously true and good news that Jesus and his life and work function redemptively. But when we reduce Jesus to redeemer only, we miss another essential element of our faith: that Jesus is also creator." (22)

"A reduced version of the gospel will have little to say to such questions [about creation]. No wonder so many have determined that the church and 'the gospel' have very little to contribute to the world." (22)

Leighton Ford
"The gospel is the core, with an invitational edge. So we preach the gospel never knowing what listeners have been drawn by the Holy Spirit. We also preach knowing that those who are already Christ-followers need to be constantly re-evangelized, reminded that our faith journeys continue as they began, by grace." (27, emphasis mine)

"In our postmodern world, many see the gospel as neither good nor news. Perhaps this is because we have simplified it and 'codified' it too carelessly. 'Accept Jesus and you'll go to heaven. Don't and you won't.' True, but not meant to be a truism." (27)

Tullian Tchividjian, pastor of and grandson of Billy Graham
"[P]reachers need to be careful that people leave a sermon not so much with grand impressions of human personality, but with grand impressions of divine personality." (33, responding to the question: What part does the preacher's personality play?)
This is one I struggle with because I want to come off as polished and professional but I also want to leave the people with a profound sense of the divine. My personality is important because it is part of who I am, but I must re-present Christ in sermons - I must incarnate my sermons, they need to reflect me and Jesus.

Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback and author of The Purpose Driven Life
"I don't doubt the Word of God, but I have doubted my ability to live it and convey it." (35, responding to the question: Is there any room for doubt or uncertainty in the preacher?)
Doubt is honesty. Everybody doubts and we preachers need to be honest with ourselves and our congregations to let them know hat we don't have everything figured out just yet.

John Ortberg, pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church
"Some 65 million copies of the Bible are bought or distributed in the US every year - nothing is a close second. The average house has at least 3. People cheer the Bible, buy the Bible, give the Bible, own the Bible - they just don't actually read the Bible." (38)
This is just funny...and true!

"Congregations shaped by the Scriptures have preachers shaped by the Scriptures." (38)
I wonder if this corollary is true: "Congregations shaped by pop psychology have preachers shaped by pop psychology."?

Grace&Peace

Youth Ask Good Questions

I wrote this on Valentine's Day, but have had a chance to post it until now...

Last night [2/13] the youth asked me to talk about what the UMC says/believes about homosexuality as part of their journey thru the Good Sex curriculum this semester.

I prepared my Discipline research and my own heart for talking about this subject, but I never really felt ready to teach the lesson. The Holy Spirit helped me to understand that all I needed to to was present te truth and then let them wrestle with their questions.

They asked thoughtful questions about the UMC stance (there are other places where the BOD references homosexuality - this is just one of them) and their confusion about the seemingly contradictory nature of our stance. I told them it confused me at times too. We talked thru their concerns and they appreciated my willingness to address the issue head-on.

After the study ended, three of them came up to me to ask deeper questions that related to someone they know who is gay. I realized once again that theoretical issues might be able to be resolved on paper, but putting flesh and a face on those issues raises the stakes. Raises the importance of handling our feelings with care. Raises the necessity for admitting our shortfalls and realizing our need for grace.

Where have you offered a simple answer to a complex question? What was the outcome?

Grace&Peace

Mornings at B&N

Caitlyn and I found ourselves at Barnes & Noble this morning sitting in the Cafe. I was drinking a red eye and she was enjoying some apple juice. As she sang and laughed and smiled I was reminded how much I enjoy spending time with her - just the two of us.

And then I had a "light bulb moment" ... God loves spending time with us too. Whether that's alone on a sunny Saturday morning sipping coffee or gathered together with our friends to lift our voices in song.

How do you spend time with God? What's your favorite hang out spot with God? Where do you go to laugh and smile with your Father?

Secondhand Sermons

In November I preached at our daughter church when their pastor was filling our pulpit during the transition between Jim and John. When Deb, Caitlyn and I went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving later that month, I downloaded the audio of the sermon for them to listen to sometime later.

I didn't think much about it until my parents came to our house for Christmas and they told me that they used my sermon podcast as a lesson for the Sunday School class earlier in December. I thought - "wow, that's cool...hope they liked it." They told me that several people took notes the whole time and several others had no idea that a church needed to grow smaller in order to grow bigger.

Earlier this week, I received a letter in the mail from one of those people. She told me that my sermon impacted her so much that she realized that she needed to seek out a member of the church and ask for forgiveness for her behavior earlier in the year. I was blown away! I stood in the kitchen dumbfounded at the power of the Holy Spirit to change the heart of someone I have never met because of the words I spoke in the name of Jesus.

It's moments like this that keep me doing what I'm doing!

Grace&Peace

Post #200b: Radical Hospitality

I have talked about this before, but it is worth repeating and remembering.

Hospitality is not just for hotels and restaurants. The Church needs to learn the fine art of tailoring a guest's experience on Sunday morning (and throughout the week if possible) so that the guest knows from moment #1 that they are loved by God and loved by the church.

Here are a few things I have learned in my quest to improve the guest experience here at Trietsch:

1. Practice reaching out to every new face you see at church. If they are an unfamiliar face to you it doesn’t matter how long they have been here – one day or ten years – they deserve to enjoy worship and perhaps make a new friend or two. The larger your church is, the more important this practice becomes.


2. Greet guests and members with the same friendliness and warmth. When the people who come through our doors know that everyone gets treated the same, no matter where they are on their faith journey, then they will tell their friends.


3. Park as far away from the building as you can. You know how to get around the building, so taking the shuttle will not slow you down from getting to your destination. A guest will need the extra time that a close parking spot affords them. And if they need to drop off kids or locate the Sanctuary, they can do so without having to first locate our satellite parking lot down the street.


4. Stop pointing. If someone asks you for directions to a particular location within the church, don’t just point over their head and say “walk down that hall, go around the corner, look for the fish wall, and turn right.” That is not helpful! At all!! If you are able, take them where they need to go. Talk with the person along the way. Get to know them a little. They will thank you for the attention and they will get to where they are going much faster than if they were to go it alone.

Look for God in our “guest experience” and find ways to show that people matter to us and to God.

Grace&Peace

PS - Tune into Mark Waltz's blog for more on this topic.

Post #200a: Church Leadership

We recently had a lay leadership training event here at Trietsch called Super Saturday and as I reflected on the mornings events several thoughts ran thru my head like a freight train.

• How often do we have to repeat a message before people begin to understand its importance?


• How many times do we tell people to fill out forms and follow procedures before they actually fill out forms and follow procedures?


• What is happening between our delivering the message and the acting on the message?

At Super Saturday last year, the Communications Team (CT) spent 35-40 minutes explaining the forms and procedures to people we elected as leaders in the congregation (chairs of committees, board members, etc.). However, throughout 2007 the CT continued to express frustration that no one filled out forms (correctly or at all), but the CT continued to produce communication pieces for them (and us as staff) anyway.

Then another question came to my mind:

• What are we teaching / rewarding our congregation to do?

We are teaching our people that processes don't matter and that we will think for them. We are teaching our people to break the rules and rewarding them for doing so...then getting mad at them for doing the very thing we are rewarding them for!

We need to stop the madness! We have a systems issue that needs fixing.

At Catalyst in October, Andy Stanley said: "Systems create behaviors" and "The systems you inherit, adopt, or create will eventually impact what staff and volunteers do" (emphasis mine). As I was listening to that talk again this week, I was hit in the face with the fact that we have (unintentionally) taught the people of Trietsch to skip the process and proceed directly to the person on staff who can get what you need. We have rewarded them for not following the process by not holding fast to deadlines, timelines, and/or availabilities.

It's not their fault...it's ours!

We (as a staff) need to learn the processes, follow the processes, teach the processes, and stick to the processes in order for the congregation to ahere to the processes. If we don't set the example, then we can't complain when they do exactly the same thing we do.

Thoughts? Objections?

Grace&Peace

Memorable Quotes from GATW

I promised you a list of some memorable quotes that I found in Going All the Way a week ago, please forgive me for my tardiness. Here they are:

To go all the way, you must be united in partnership under Christ. (32)

Most of the time the advice [re: sex] coming from the Christian community is muddled, watered down, and out of touch....Then when the church marries a couple, the message instantly changes....And the well-intentioned young couple does their best to unlearn all of the church's negative, uninformed impressions about sex in one night. Good luck. (54)

When you're married, I'm sure you want to be faithful to your Two. But to succeed in that faithfulness, you must first learn to be faithful to the One. (59)

If you want a marriage that goes the distance in every way - the marriage that God fully desires for you - being involved isn't enough. You need to be committed. (83)

If you want to raise an insecure child, put her first, neglect your marriage, fight with her other parent, and let her worry that you might divorce. The receipe for a secure child? Honor God at all times. Love your spouse - and let the child see your affection. Pray together. Communicate. Date. And your child will rest well knowing that Mom and Dad's marriage is strong. (118-9)

Wherever sin lives, intimacy dies. And where intimacy lives, sin dies. (139)

Grace&Peace

Going All the Way: Book Review

I finished reading Going All The Way this morning and I must admit that I was challenged and inspired by reading it - both for my own marriage and for applying it to any couple that walks thru my doors to get married. Here are some thoughts on it for the folks over at LifeChurch.tv:

"Habits of the Heart" was the most useful material in the whole book. That chapter contained good, concise challenges for pre-marital and married couples alike.

The 'Husbands/Wives' chapters (12 & 13):

• challenged me to re-evaluate my goals and responsibilities as a husband
• gave me insight into the peculiarities of my wife that will help me better relate to her thinking/feeling/needs
• basis in Eph 5.22-23 grounded the demands of God for healthy, holy ("oddly godly") marriage deeply in Scripture

The whole section on "Gearing Up for Your Two" was great, easy to understand and apply to my conversations with singles and pre-marital couples. They may find it hard to implement - depending on what has already happened, but it gives clear guidelines for keeping the One in focus while finding their Two.

Chapter 6 on "Playing House" gave me many things to equip couples who are doing just that. The "vows" Craig wrote for his frat buddy and his "live-in" were pointed and eye-opening. I have always felt that living together was a bad idea, but now I have some more meat to put into my argument for moving toward God's best for each person in a relationship.

Tomorrow I will post some of my favorite quotes from the book....

Grace&Peace

An Apology & Some Excitement About the Bible

First of all, I am sorry for the recent lack of posting...things are CRAZY here at Trietsch and we are all wondering when we might be able to come up for air.

In other news, I am very excited about my new study starting tonight. The book of Exodus is a foundational text for both Christianity and Judaism; therefore, it deserves special attention and thorough study. The theological questions and themes raised in the second book of the Torah resonate in the rest of scripture and echo even today. Good stuff!

Grace&Peace

Goals for 2008

Each January I take a step back from the busyness of life & ministry and look at what I would like to accomplish in the coming year. (I would like to adopt a habit of looking back at the previous year in December, but I am not there yet!) I don't like to make resolutions because most of them are in a ditch by Valentine's Day, so...

Here are some goals I have identified for 2008:

#1 - To study these 5 books
Good to Great by Jim Collins
Go Put Your Strengths to Work by Marcus Buckingham
The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive by Pat Lencioni
Change Your Church for Good by Brad Powell
Intuitive Leadership by Tim Keel

I usually read about 20 books a year, but I want to take extra time during 2008 to read these books carefully and prayerfully.

#2 - To be home for dinner and Caitlyn’s bedtime routine at least 4 nights a week

Being home when my girls are awake is crucial to maintaining a healthy family system in my life. Plus I need to learn that stuff can happen at the church without me being at every meeting!

#3 - To recapture my inner 'hopeless romantic' toward my wife

The busyness of life can get in the way of making time for each other, but when thought, planning, and a good dose of spontaneity get mixed together...who knows what can happen!

#4 - To help launch the Adult Discipleship Plan at Trietsch during Fall 2008

This ADP will go a long way toward growing our church into fully devoted followers of Christ...and that's where we need to be headed. And I want to lead the charge!

#5 - To complete my ordination paperwork by July 31

My Lay Ministry Committee will need time to read, process, and digest my writings before being able to offer constructive feedback on it, so they need the time to get that done and I want to give it to them. It's only fair and it will give me the opportunity to turn in all my paperwork early!

There are others, but these give me plenty to work on for now! Let's see what 2008 has in store!

Grace&Peace

Whew!

Sure am glad to know that Perkins taught me well!

Grace&Peace

Hat tip: Jay Voorhees

What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71% Neo orthodox 61% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Roman Catholic 57% Modern Liberal 29% Reformed Evangelical 29% Classical Liberal 29% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Fundamentalist 7%

12 Ways to Look for God in 2008

As promised, here are all 12 ways that I would have loved to had the time to address in worship this morning.

Grace&Peace

1. Read the Bible like a Novel
Bible has all the necessary pieces of great literature: plot, character development, drama, song, love, violence, a savior, redemption, etc. Read the Bible as ONE story this year – not as a bunch of stories put together into one volume. See the thread of God’s love woven throughout the whole narrative

2. Hit up Blockbuster
Pay attention to themes like forgiveness, redemption, atonement, the search for love, the call for justice, or the protection of the innocent. Biblical themes are present in movies even if the writers did not intend to put them there. So go ahead and look a the movies you watch through God’s lens and see if you see something new in an old favorite.

3. Tune in…
Turn your radio dials away from KLTY and you’ll be surprised at what you find. Surprised in a good way! There are plenty of artists in the mainstream arena who are using their music to express their longing for the Divine.

God can be found in all kinds of music we listen to. Listen for themes of God’s grace, for an artist’s searching questions of faith.

4. Say, “Cheers!”
Cheers was a show that brought together people from various backgrounds in a place that we call a “third space” – not a home and not a workplace, but a third place where life happens.

This year, take the time to get to know someone whose lifestyle, values or beliefs are different than yours. That is, be intentional about building a relationship with someone you’d likely never be drawn to naturally. Look for God in their story and be surprised by the potential crossing of your story lines.

5. Listen to Your Wife
How many times have you been in the middle of a conversation with your spouse and tuned out because they said something that you didn’t agree with? What if what they just said was exactly what you needed to hear, and you missed it because you were too proud to hear them out? This year, take the time to dial in for the whole conversation. What they have to say to you may be the very thing God has for you to learn in that moment about whatever is bothering you.

The next time you’re tempted to become defensive as you listen to your spouse, a friend, a peer, a child or your boss… stop. Ask: is God speaking to me through this person?

6. Meet Joe, the Mechanic
How many strangers do we encounter on a daily basis? How many of them have a story that they would love to tell, if we would take the time to listen and get to know them? Probably all of them. This year, be intentional about getting to know the people with whom you come in contact with on a regular basis – the barista at Starbucks, the auto mechanic whom you trust to take care of your vehicle, or the grocery store checker who rings up your groceries.

There are people we encounter every day who seem to be fine people, but are they really merely a means to get through our day? We have an agenda – they help us or they frustrate us. But what if we paused long enough to take genuine interest in them – even for a moment? Jesus says when we do, it’s the same as honoring him.

7. Make a Run for Borders
Read the Bible for sure – start there, but don’t end there. Look for God’s truth in everything you read. Read the stories of others’ search for God, read their encounters with God. Read their discoveries, their findings, their questions. Discover where your life can benefit from what they have learned. Find out where their learnings can impact your life and faith. Ask some of the same questions and see what answers you come up with.

8. Break out!
Take some time this year to see the possibilities of taking new routes in life – perhaps they will provide the catalyst for the change you have been longing for in your life. What if you stopped seeing the same scenery each day and started seeing the subtle signs of God’s work and presence in your life? Try a new road to work. Try shopping at a new store. Try a new drink at Starbucks. Try listening to a new radio station. Just do something new to break out of your routine. And see where God is along the way!

9. Find a Catch 22
This year, find a question in life that does not have an easy answer (or any answer at all) and really wrestle with it. Mull it over. Think it through. Take it to its different logical conclusions and see how each one affects your faith, theology, and/or life.

Live in the tension of not knowing an answer. Live in the tension of not being able to put all your questions into neat and tidy little boxes that fit on the shelves in your closet. Grapple with the messiness of life. Struggle with the inconsistencies of humanity. And learn to trust God more along the way, because he’s the only one with the answers. Allow the questions to lead you past the answer to God himself.

10. Forget the Umbrella
The next time you have to make a choice between playing it safe and walking in the danger zone…forget the umbrella. Take a risk. Chance it. Step out. Stand in a fountain, sing on the street, order something different next time you eat out. Start that new business. Volunteer for the first time.

You never know what might happen when you are willing to risk it all. You never know what God will bless in your life until you are willing to give up control over it and hand it to him. He has your life in the palm of his hand and he wants you to experience a life that is full, not flat.

Follow Jesus into the wild. He was the king of the rebels. He never did anything that people expected. He was always breaking the rules and seeing how little the people around him were willing to risk for God’s kingdom.

11. Carpe Diem
Every day we are on this earth is a blessing from God. Take the time this year to seize each of those blessings. There are things that God has uniquely gifted you to do on this earth and every moment wasted is an opportunity lost. Embrace every opportunity.

Look for God in every person, every circumstance, every scene. Look for God in the people you know well. Look for God in the stranger. Look for God when a new situation arises. Look for God when the familiarities of life overtake you. Look for God everywhere. Seize the day. Every day.

12. Radical Hospitality
Practice reaching out to every new face you see at church. If they are an unfamiliar face to you it doesn’t matter how long they have been here – one day or ten years – they deserve to enjoy worship and perhaps make a new friend or two.

Greet guests and members with the same friendliness and warmth. When the people who come through our doors know that everyone gets treated the same, no matter where they are on their faith journey, then they will tell their friends.

Park at Marcus. A guest will need the extra time that a close parking spot affords them.

Stop pointing. If someone asks you for directions to a particular location within the church, don’t just point and say “walk down that hall, go around the corner, look for the fish wall, and turn right.” That is not helpful! At all!! Take them where they need to go. Talk with the person along the way. Get to know them a little. They will thank you for the attention and they will get to where they are going much faster than if they were to go it alone.

Look for God in our “guest experience” and find ways to show that people matter to us and to God.

EDIT: For 200th Post

I was reading an article in Fast Company about thinking inside the box (as opposed to outside the box) when trying to be creative and I wondered if my earlier post was too outside the box without the necessary limits. So I am going to offer some limits to what I will post about in the famous Post #200.

Here are your choices:

1. Body Piercing/Tattoos
2. Secular Music in Worship
3. Church Leadership in the 21st Century
4. Radical Hospitality

Just vote for the one you would like me to blog about...if you're good I might do a multi-part series on that topic.

Tuesday Night Reflections

Yesterday was just an amazing time of worship and celebration! Of our 4 services, I attended two (4 and 9pm) and preached one (11pm). I must say that our worship team went out of their way to make sure that everything went off without a hitch. Although we had a few hiccups along the way, I do believe that all 3700+ people who attended were presented with the gospel.


Dina did a great job with the Children's service. There was the steady hum of children throughout the whole service, but things moved quickly and Madilyn and Grant did a great job with the drama.

At 9pm, the choir, orchestra, bells, and Shiloh Quartet performed magnificently. Joe preached a great message. (FYI - I thought he stole my notes because some of the things he said sounded eerily familiar to what I was going to say at 11pm.)

The Rockin' Christmas Eve service lived up to its name because the band was HOT and the preacher didn't do half bad either. I thought that the all the flipping elements we put into the service carried the theme well. I must say that watching and listening to Reign play "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" just took my breath away. My feet were pounding to the rhythm and the whole group was spot on the whole time. And to watch people pull out their cell phones at the end as we sang the last verse of Silent Night was AWESOME! (We recorded this part and we hope to post it to YouTube soon...I'll add the link when it becomes available.)

Overall, kudos to the whole worship team for making Trietsch's celebration of Jesus' birthday one for the record books.

Grace&Peace

Merry Christmas 2007

Many times throughout 2007 I have fallen into the trap of being married to the office rather than my wife. And since I work in a church it makes that even worse in my mind...because I should know better, right?

Therefore, I wrote this letter to Deb and gave it to her as her "big present" for Christmas this year. I really wanted to make sure that she understood that I want to be a husband and father that makes her proud. That I want to be the man that God has called me to be. That I don't want to squander the gift of her presence in my life. She is the mother of our sweet Caitlyn and I don't want to lose either one of them to my own thoughtlessness.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy this time with your family and friends and let them know how much you care about them because you never know how much time you have with them. Right Perry?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debbie,
I thought long and hard about what to get you for Christmas this year. I wanted to get you something that would best express my devotion and love for you. As I wandered the malls and gazed at the glittering window displays, I realized that the best gift that I could give you would not be found at the mall. I realized that I couldn’t buy it anywhere. The best gift that I could give you has no monetary value attached to it, but it is costly.

This Christmas, I want to give you priority in my life. I want you to be first person to have dibs on my calendar. I want you and Caitlyn to never wonder where my heart longs to be. This year, I want to give you my time.

I want to do this in very specific and tangible ways. You are a planner. You like to look ahead and to see what is coming around the corner before it’s so close the only thing we can do is emotionally react to the oncoming event. I want to honor that wonderful part about you by giving you the opportunity to plan 12 Saturdays for us in 2008 that will be unbreakable commitments. No church stuff. No last minute plan changes. Just you, me and Caitlyn spending time together as a family. If you wish to use one of these Saturdays to have some alone time or some mother/daughter bonding time, then that is great. Again, these Saturdays are unbreakable commitments on my part – nothing will come up to ruin them.

I would also like to give you 4 weekends (Friday through Sunday) during 2008 that will be unbreakable commitments to you and Caitlyn as well. These weekends can be used for trips to San Antonio as a family, a visit to the Arboretum, or whatever else you may want to do. As with the Saturdays above, you may use these weekends to get away with your girlfriends or your Mom – they are totally of your choosing and unbreakable commitments on my end.

Just so you know, these Saturdays and weekends through out 2008 are on top of any vacation(s) we may take during the year. These are special times where you have the right to set the agenda as far in advance as needed and I will say ‘no’ to any conflicting appointments.

As I said before, this gift is about time. It’s about priority. It’s about putting my family first in everything that happens in my life, because you and Caitlyn really are my life. This gift did not cost me a dime, but I have a feeling that seeing this gift brought to fruition will be the best investment I could ever make in you, in Caitlyn, and in our family.

With all my love,
Dean
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Grace&Peace

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Grace&Peace