Many times throughout 2007 I have fallen into the trap of being married to the office rather than my wife. And since I work in a church it makes that even worse in my mind...because I should know better, right?
Therefore, I wrote this letter to Deb and gave it to her as her "big present" for Christmas this year. I really wanted to make sure that she understood that I want to be a husband and father that makes her proud. That I want to be the man that God has called me to be. That I don't want to squander the gift of her presence in my life. She is the mother of our sweet Caitlyn and I don't want to lose either one of them to my own thoughtlessness.
Merry Christmas! Enjoy this time with your family and friends and let them know how much you care about them because you never know how much time you have with them. Right Perry?
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Debbie,
I thought long and hard about what to get you for Christmas this year. I wanted to get you something that would best express my devotion and love for you. As I wandered the malls and gazed at the glittering window displays, I realized that the best gift that I could give you would not be found at the mall. I realized that I couldn’t buy it anywhere. The best gift that I could give you has no monetary value attached to it, but it is costly.
This Christmas, I want to give you priority in my life. I want you to be first person to have dibs on my calendar. I want you and Caitlyn to never wonder where my heart longs to be. This year, I want to give you my time.
I want to do this in very specific and tangible ways. You are a planner. You like to look ahead and to see what is coming around the corner before it’s so close the only thing we can do is emotionally react to the oncoming event. I want to honor that wonderful part about you by giving you the opportunity to plan 12 Saturdays for us in 2008 that will be unbreakable commitments. No church stuff. No last minute plan changes. Just you, me and Caitlyn spending time together as a family. If you wish to use one of these Saturdays to have some alone time or some mother/daughter bonding time, then that is great. Again, these Saturdays are unbreakable commitments on my part – nothing will come up to ruin them.
I would also like to give you 4 weekends (Friday through Sunday) during 2008 that will be unbreakable commitments to you and Caitlyn as well. These weekends can be used for trips to San Antonio as a family, a visit to the Arboretum, or whatever else you may want to do. As with the Saturdays above, you may use these weekends to get away with your girlfriends or your Mom – they are totally of your choosing and unbreakable commitments on my end.
Just so you know, these Saturdays and weekends through out 2008 are on top of any vacation(s) we may take during the year. These are special times where you have the right to set the agenda as far in advance as needed and I will say ‘no’ to any conflicting appointments.
As I said before, this gift is about time. It’s about priority. It’s about putting my family first in everything that happens in my life, because you and Caitlyn really are my life. This gift did not cost me a dime, but I have a feeling that seeing this gift brought to fruition will be the best investment I could ever make in you, in Caitlyn, and in our family.
With all my love,
Dean
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Grace&Peace
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